trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
