i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
