If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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