Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
