Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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