Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
