Sry I called you an 8
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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