there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
