How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
high people should be assigned attendants
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
