how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
