I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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