There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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