i don't like sucking hair
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
