Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
