oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
