That's intense
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
