Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
