there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize