nut hugger
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
