This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
