you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
