he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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