we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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