You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
either way he was missing a nipple.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
