found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
