He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
