I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
