i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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