I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
