I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
