Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
