Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Every concussion has its silver lining
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
