thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
