you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
