girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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