fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
