her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
