The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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