The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
how can u be prego again
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i believe in u and ur pee
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
