i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
