Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
