Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
