We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
