he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
