I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
