stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
