You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
