This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
