so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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