If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
