She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
