So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
is wine microwaveable?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Actions speak louder than pants.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
