He asked me if I "almost moaned"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
