I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
