I'm jealous of your bromance
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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