i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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