i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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