I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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