I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
