even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Enjoy the penises
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
