she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
