I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
