have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
