Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
